Relationship Issues

I'll admit it. I have them. I have a butt load, truth be told, but that doesnt mean I haven't learned a few things along the way.

I've complied a list of clues to help those of you who are relationship challenged like myself, to know when it's time to let go, cut bait, set sail for smoother waters, get the hell out of town, make like a banana and peel, take the last train to Georgia and say "Hasta la bye-bye Baby!"

In other words...

How to tell he's not that into your avatar:

• He begins every conversation with "I talked to my ex today... blah blah... broke my heart... blah blah.. lost without her... blah blah... I'm wondering if I should stay in business with her... blah blah..."
• He suddenly starts popping up in IM when he's not showing up in your friends list. Or, he thinks he's a smooth operator when he marks your name as "unable to see me online" but forgets you own land on the same estate and use the Emerald viewer, with built in radar. It takes him a while, but he eventually does figure out to recheck the box by your name before he sends an IM.
• He enjoys ejecting you from the skybox you share, everytime you tp in. He tells you it's just a joke and laughs it off, telling you to get a sense of humor.
• He has lots and lots of female friends, who are always having a crisis that only he can solve.

Sometimes, it's painfully obvious from day one that you probably shouldn't waste your time. Some of those clues..

• He doesn't have time to talk because he's busy trading stocks. What he really means is he's unemployed, lives in his mother's basement and he just found some really good free porn. You probably won't see him online for a while, he'll be busy hauling his computer down to the Geek Squad to get all those nasty coochie shot pop ups off his computer before his mother sees them and makes him move back to the garage.
• He manages to bring his webcam into the conversation everytime you talk to him. He even offers to send you an image he shot while talking to you last. Be prepared for a slightly unfocused, happy little winky, standing at attention. An extreme closeup. It's okay to laugh out loud, but try to be kind when you respond to the IM. He may be a little unbalanced and you could push him over the edge. You don't need that on your conscience.
• He thinks relationships in Second Life are stupid, feels that those who participate in such foolishness should have their heads examined and just doesn't see the point. (Down here in the South, we call this being "uppity.") What Mr. Uppity can't explain, however, is why, if he feels this way, is he walking around with his nose up your butt every second you're online, trying to get you naked. Or for that matter, why he's there at all.
• Then there are those who are obsessed with the myth that every single female in Second Life is really a man. They'll use this belief to try to force you to share personal information. Just walk away. They're missing the whole point. I'll be happy to chat in voice with anyone I'm friends with, even if I am a little shy. But when I barely know you.. and you demand it as "proof".. well.. you can go screw yourself.

By the way, I love dishing out advice. Do you have a Second Life dilemma that's just crying out for a solution? Drop me an email and I'll post your quandry here, along with my own words of wisdom.