Take a Walk on the Wild Side

After spending most of the past year in Second Life either partnered or walking around with my nose up the pixelated butt of a significant other, I've realised that there is a wide array of sub cultures and groups here that I have yet to experience. I want to stroke the seedy underbelly of the wild side, exploring darkened alleys and streets lined with titty bars.

I wanna straddle a stripper pole and shake my groove thang for a few $Ls.

How hard could it be? I mean, it's not like you need any actual talent, the animations are built in to the pole... right?

I scoured the classifieds for openings and started filling out applications. I soon realized that there was a little more to this than I had first thought. Some of the clubs required that your account be at least two weeks old, others as much as three months. This created a slight problem, since I'd created a new sexilicioius me to pursue my new career choice. All of the applications required your "real" age, I assume to cover their asses if little Johnny gets caught dancing naked for dollars with his Sally Mae av by his mom and dad.

I may or may not have told the truth on that one.

There were personality questions, photos to submit, interviews, demonstrations of my ability to "emote" sexily while dancing. I really thought I was going to stroll in to a club, offer to adorn their pole and maybe chat up a few guys, be given a tag and that be it. I was mistaken.

After a series of interviews and being shot down more times than I care to divulge, I finally landed a spot at a large club with an established clientele. I worked my first shift over the weekend and I had a blast. I'll let ya'll know how it goes.

I'll see ya'll in world. I may or may not be topless at the time.

Can Second Life Stop the War?

"Help end the war, lies & propoganda" was the title of the event listing which attracted me to this quaint little seaside gathering at Liberty Beach.

Before I go on, I should mention that when it comes to politics, I'm intentionally clueless. I'm that person that activists despise, the one who chooses to turn a blind eye, to remain quiet, to do nothing. I wasn't always this way. I used to feel free to voice my opinion on those issues which stirred my patriotic spirit, which now lays buried under layers of denial. When I take hold of a cause, I don't let go and because of that, I found it too draining, too emotional for me to allow myself to care too much.

And yet, when I saw this event listed, I couldn't let it pass without at least stopping by.

When I arrived, I was welcomed by a gathering of only three people. I was a little surprised, I guess I was hoping for a massive uprising.

The group was eventually joined by two more and the conversation flowed from opinions on the war (no one was for it) to the economy, 9/11 conspiracy theories and the government's knowledge of Tesla technologies. Although everyone wasn't always in agreement on every topic, I didn't witness tempers flaring or arguments. Everyone was very polite and respectful of everyone else.

I'm not sure what I expected initially, but this quiet, friendly group was a pleasant surprise.

Can Second Life stop the war? Probably not, but consider the fact that we all exist in this virtual world, from many nations, speaking many languages in the absence of a formal government and we all seem to get along much better than we do in the first world.

Maybe there's a lesson in that.

The State of Mahala

I have really struggled with my life on the grid this past week. So much so that I've contemplated selling my land, deleting my blog and downgrading to a free account. Doing these things would make it easier for me to walk away.

I'm sure you're thinking my decision has something to do with lag, Linden Labs or the state of Second Life in general, but it doesn't. My dismay with the state of things is based on a very human condition, the existence of hatred.

I've found myself retreating more and more into myself in world, something I do in my first life all too often. I try to distance myself from conflict, from pain, from hatred. It isn't always the best option for dealing with these things, it's just how I chose to, due to my atomic temper and huge mouth.

Things have been said regarding my unwillingness to be friendly towards some individuals and it's been suggested that my reasoning was incorrect and I'd like to address that here. I don't care if someone has an alt, I don't care if they have 15. It doesn't matter what face you wear or the name above your head, when I witness someone showing no respect for the choices of others, speaking with hateful words, calling others "idiots", displaying bloodied heads on sticks etc., I choose to separate myself from them.

I harbor no ill will.

I am not angry.

I just would rather not spend the limited time that I spend online in the company of individuals who gain pleasure from the pain and hurt feelings of others. There's enough hate and frankly, bullshit, in the real world.

Some of you will say it's just a game and that these displays are all in fun, but hatred and intolerance are dangerous things, in any form. If you freely sprew ignorance in Second Life, then I'm sure you do the same in your first. Your avatar, regardless of how hard you try to hide it, is an extension of who you are inside.

All the expensive skins, hoochie mama clothes and flexi hair on the grid won't mask your charade forever.

"Curl Up and Dye Salon"

Sometimes I get in a mood and go on a rampant shopping spree, looking for hair. I buy lots of hair, which I wear for about a day, then I decide it doesn't look right and go back to the first hair that the tall, pale, Gothic stranger bought me when I was a newbie.

I like to refer to him as my Hairy Godfather.

It was during one of these sudden, obsessive needs for new hair that I stumbled upon the gem pictured here. At the "Curl Up and Dye Salon" they specialize in fantasy hair, like Godiva, Gothic and Victorian doos but they also have a line of "Angry Housewife" styles. It's not just the hair either, they have entire avatars with fuzzy slippers and bathrobes. I didn't buy the style you see here, just the demo, but I may go back and get it. It would be perfect for those early weekend mornings at the hub, sipping coffee and chatting with friends.

Celebrities in Second Life

Do you ever watch that newbie strutting his stuff, wearing his shiny new freenis smack dab in the center of his forehead and wonder... could he be a celebrity?

I've thought about this more than once. When you read the tabloids (not that I would, I'm just sayin..) or watch "entertainment journalism" on television and you see the paparazzi shoving cameras in the faces of the wealthy elite, you have to wonder how they ever have any time to just kick back and be goofy.

I bet some of them are doing just that on Second Life.

I don't assume that just any A-lister is hanging out on the grid. I mean, I doubt Angelina Jolie is working a stripper pole on Orgy Island, but can't you just see someone like director Kevin Smith or maybe Roseanne Barr hanging out at the hub, picking on newbies?

Just think, that furry that you keep running off your land might be Jessica Alba.

Hey, it could happen.

Personally, I'm waiting for a buff, male avatar with broad shoulders and long, flowing hair to confide in me that he's really late night talk show host Craig Ferguson.

A girl can dream...

Shoes Don't Go There

Last night was fun in SL wasn't it? Multiple crashes, walking around with one earring and strange mystery messages from the Lindens when I tried to fly to my favorite infohub.

It did make for some funny moments though. As I stood in my corner, observing the mayhem, I noticed one resident showing off her new hair to one of her friends.

"Look how it moves from the back when I walk!" she said as she strutted sexily.

I didn't have the heart to tell her (and she probably wouldn't have believed me anyway) that in my view, her fabulous new hair was stuck to her crotch and it looked as if her naughty bits were under a tribble attack.

It was a normal "update" evening with stilettos stuck to our ass cheeks and lag so bad that you could die waiting for chat text to show up.

Those of us who've been around for a while, know to just take it in stride. It's all for the greater good. Today will be better and each day after.. until the next update.

See ya'll in world!

Never Turn Your Back on a Bunny....

.... because they'll be checking out your ass.

Flashed

Last night, a small gathering of folks were assembled on the wall at Bear Infohub. The topics of discussion varied, ranging from chat about an earlier party at the Co-op to how it's much more upsetting to rez without your hair than your clothing. Eventually, the males in the group began discussing all things technical. Motherboards, ram, processors... thingamabobs.. who knows. They were really into their voice conversation, so much so that the rest of us wagered that if we were to go topless, the menfolk in attendance wouldn't even notice. We didn't have this discussion in private, it was typed.. right there on the screen for anyone to see.

They never noticed.

So I sat there on the wall, in the middle of the flow of newbie traffic through the hub, topless. Now, I know they're not real boobs.. but dang.. someone paid good money to make sure I had decent hooters. It's not like they're nippless newbie tattas.

The technical conversation raged on. They never noticed. Even while the other ladies in attendance laughed hysterically that the guys were so wrapped up in giga-mega-uber-techno-stuff that they never noticed I had no top on.

There are some things men pay attention to more than breasts.. apparently.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I finally did it. I caved to peer pressure and got a headset and mic so that I could be like the cool kids and walk around Second Life like I'm in a cellphone commercial yelling "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???"

Before I go on, I should tell you I'm horribly shy, especially when it comes to speaking around people. This is part of my attraction to SL, being able to hide behind my computer. Because of this, after setting up my new headset I logged on and sought out my one good friend, the one person I trust enough to even attempt to speak with. It must have been like pulling teeth, he has to be the most patient person I've ever met. After about five minutes, I'd had all I could take and nervously went back to typing.

I made an attempt to join in with the cool kids over at the co-op, but my mic stopped working, which became evident after I sat there arguing with the vertically challenged, bucket headed dog for ten minutes before realizing that I was talking to myself. I logged off, re-booted my computer and started on my land, where it worked fine. Then I went back to the infohub, walking around saying "lalalala talking to myself" for ten minutes, little green lines over my head, but no one hearing me. Little bucket head showed up and yelled at me some more while I frantically tried everything I knew to do.

I think I've just bought a very nice digital, USB paperweight.

Ghoulish Thrills on the Grid

I had a blast Halloween night, checking out all the cool costumes and avatars. There were wolves, pumpkin heads and a wide assortment of demonic costumes. I went for the "Cupid's Skanky Ho" look:

While SL loan shark and telephone solicitor Aimz Demina chose a sexy demon ensemble, turning heads all over the infohub.

After a bit of shmoozing at the Co-op and later at Bear, a friend and I hit our favorite dance spot which had been transformed into a spooky graveyard, complete with Halloween themed music and a bit of holiday inspired trivia.

When I logged on this morning, I removed the monsters and the ghosts from around the office, picked up the jack o' lanterns and changed back into my "normal" hair and clothes. I kept the sunglasses though... I kinda liked the attitude.

I'll see ya'll soon!

Rediscovery

Lately I've been looking back on my first year in Second Life and realizing that I spent a big chunk of that time being partnered or otherwise involved with a significant other. I've also realized that by doing so, I've missed out on so many things, things I didn't learn, didn't see or experience.

I intend to fix that.

I've got good, close friends and since making the decision to remain unattached, I'm much more content. I'm looking forward to documenting my experiences as I rediscover all the aspects of the grid that I missed the first year.

I'll see ya'll inworld!

Second Faith: Morning Star Christian Playground

Near my Grey Corner property in Second Life is an area called "Morning Star Christian Playground." I had ventured over once, when I first noticed the spinning sign on the horizon, finding a small area with a bit of literature here and there, nothing spectacular. I went back for another visit this weekend and found that it had grown considerably since last time.

My attention was drawn first to the large, four story building.
At the base of the building were some signs depicting literature which I thought resembled the pamphlets usually distributed by the Jehovah's Witness groups.

To the right there was an elevator of sorts, it didn't function but gave out landmarks for teleporting to each of the four floors. The top floor, "the gallery," was a collection of artwork, much like what you see advertised by the Franklin Mint. The second and third floors were completely empty. It seemed like such a waste of valuable space, I'd love to know what they plan on putting there.

The center of the property was another large open space, bordered on the left by shop kiosks for rent and a club on the right. I walked around the shops and came to some startling conclusions. First, apparently disco wear is the preferred dress for church in Second Life:


I'm not sure if the Southern Baptist minister who pastored the church I grew up in would have approved, but then times have changed since then.

Other shops sold faith inspired jewelry, artwork and clothing. From the look of the avatars in the pictures selling the clothing, it can be assumed that ginormous hooters are also church approved.

Eventually I made my way over to the club area with it's neon signs and flashing lights. I had conflicting emotions by finding five campers there, three on dance pads, one playing pinball and one pushing a janitor's cart. I mean, should campers be employed on Sunday on church property? Just askin'...

While there I saw one live avatar, Teo. I asked Teo if he owned the property, he said he didn't but that he visited there often. Right off the bat he asked me if I had questions about God. I told him I was comfortable with my own faith, but I think he figured he had a live one and suddenly I was being interrogated about what I believed and it was implied in twenty different ways that I was just plain wrong and .. bless his heart.. Teo knew all the answers.

Some of the items sold in the shops, struck me as a little creepy and believe me, I have a high threshold for creepiness. The dance area, with it's giant neon Jesus sign overhead and assortment of line dances was empty each time I visited. Other than Teo, I didn't encounter anyone else there, just the campers. One of them did message me as she left, telling me I needed to im the owner. I got the impression she wasn't thrilled with the conversation Teo and I were having.

There were also a few free SL bibles around. I don't know if they were versions of the real thing or rewritten for the virtual world and I decided that I didn't need to find out.

I'm not sure what the Morning Star Christian Playground is trying to accomplish. When I asked what denomination they were, Teo informed me that there was none, but the signs on the large building at the head of the property were provided by the "SES" or Southern Evangelical Seminary.

Are they looking for new ministers in Second Life? One has to wonder.

The Boob Tube Invasion of Second Life

Last night CSI:NY came to Second Life, tonight NBC's "The Office" will show Dwight, my favorite dorktacular office employee visiting the grid.

What's next?

*Live from Second Life!! It's Saturday Night!

*My Name is Earl Linden

*Second Life's Next Top Avatar (that one may already be in the event list.. )

*Oprah Prime Time Special "I shagged your friend but I didn't know he was really your alt, but I was using my alt so is it really cheating?"

*As the Grid Turns

*Furry's Anatomy

*The Neko Whisperer

See ya'll inworld!

Feeding the Beast No More

Over the weekend, Bear Dream Lodge Infohub was once again visited by an angry landowner, this time a shop keeper. As he stood in the center of the gathering, shouting insults and obscenities, I wondered what, exactly, he was trying to accomplish.

I assume that if you open a store, more traffic yields higher sales. Opening your store directly across the road from an infohub would definitely give you more traffic and one would assume, put more money in your pocket.

Why then, would you enter the infohub and call everyone, new and established accounts alike, everything from an *sshole to a wh*re? I can almost guarantee that no one in attendance was making plans to make any purchases from those establishments. Is this a wise business practice?

Within minutes, this shop owner (who sadly seemed to be suffering from some form of typing Turrets, God bless him) was joined by the other landowner, the one who frequents the infohub when she needs a boost to her self esteem.

It's like a day care center, with all the stomping around and demanding of attention.

They complain about all the ad farmers yet outside their businesses they display huge signage:

Notice the lovely flaming finger displayed multiple times. A nice touch I think.

I can understand the frustration of opening a business and not being able to operate it properly because it shares a region with an infohub. Perhaps it's time to learn what we can from these errors in judgement and move on.

Lag can be a huge problem when a sim is full, especially while trying to conduct business. Another resource hogging practice is the addition of camping chairs or dance pads. If you're new and looking for a way to make some spending money, please don't fall prey to this practice. It costs more for the electricity to run your computer while there than you are being paid. By having you parked on their property for ten minutes and paying you the equivalent of one U.S. nickel the owner increases the traffic rating for their land, falsely inflating it, improving the position of their listing in the "places" menu. Instead of idling on a dance pad for an hour, invest your time in a class at NCI, learning to build or script. At least you'll be interacting with other residents and putting another wrinkle in your brain. Second Life has enough zombies already.

Other practices being performed in the area around the infohub include individuals messaging new residents, spamming them with landmarks to other regions and implying that they are acting on behalf of Linden staff, to assist them in setting their "home" elsewhere. It's interesting to note that when this occurs, the profile of the individual redirecting the new residents, is usually less than a week old. Draw your own conclusions.

There have also been instances of individuals standing on the edge of the landing area, using particle emitters to block the vision of people entering the region, causing excessive lag conditions and leading to sim crashes. It is probable that because this practice began at the same time that neighboring business owners started making statements that they were going to have the infohub shut down, that the events are related.

I've reviewed Linden Labs "Terms of Service" and "Community Standards" as well as their definition of infohubs and the intended purpose of these areas. I can say with utmost certainty that nowhere within these documents is the use of profanity, insults, threats or the misrepresentation of intent condoned in any way. Having made that statement, I can also assume that, based on past experience, little or no "official" action will be taken against these practices in the Bear Dream Lodge Infohub situation.

My advice to residents? Don't feed the beast.

At the moment that it becomes evident that an individual who lacks basic social skills is going to become verbally abusive, mute them. It's easy to do, right click on either their avatar or their name, chose mute and magically, the grid becomes a happy place again. Arguing just feeds their infantile need for attention.. and that's really what this is all about.

Oh and to that Bear business owner who continues to insist that she's having the infohub shut down?

Shit or get off the pot.

A Peek at "CSI: NY" in Second Life

This episode of "CSI NY" featuring Second Life airs Wednesday, October 24th. Prepare yourselves, we're going to be in for a flood of new residents!

A Home on the Grid

I spent the better part of the weekend turning my small parcel of land into a home for Second Slice. From there residents can access the site and leave suggestions for stories, comments or requests for product reviews from within Second Life.

I want to thank Norf Lundquist and Nye Mu for their help with some technical matters (I was having a few Forest Gump moments this weekend) and Katie Broome for the Halloween decorations.

When I wasn't working on the new office, I was playing with the new BlogHud. I'm having some problems getting it to cross post to Second Slice, but I plan to have that fixed in the next couple of days.. when this case of Gump-brain passes.

I'm in the process of compiling information related to the landowner drama surrounding the Bear Dream Lodge Infohub, I should have that for you in the next few days.

In the meantime, I'll see ya'll inworld!

To Alt or Not to Alt

Most long time residents of Second Life have at least one. Some regard them suspiciously, accusing them of being used to spy on others. I've heard some say they use them to get a break from their growing popularity, to find a bit of peace to wander through the grid unhindered by IMs and demands for attention. I'm speaking of course... of alts.

I never had an alt, until recently. I didn't see the need for one, I have enough trouble keeping my head on straight with just one avatar. I did wonder though, what it would be like to start over as a newbie, if I would see things differently, if it would be any easier the second time around. My first impression was how unsettling it was to see myself teetering around like a newly hatched chick. I'd taken for granted the nice skin I had (bought by an ex-boyfriend), the loaded AO that I'd searched far and wide for, all the time I'd spent tweaking my shape. These things had become a part of me and how I identified myself.

It's scary to start over... but exciting.

Now I wonder... do I tell people I know? Is it dishonest not to? Would it be a mistake if I did?

What do you think? If you have an alt (or two, or three) I'd love to know what made you decide to create them. Did you tell your friends? Or is it a deep, dark secret? Leave your comments below :)

See ya'll in world!

Godiva Rides Again

In celebration of the one year anniversary of my very first day in Second Life, last night I removed all clothing, put on my best floor length, Lady Godiva hair then rode my horse from one end of the Bear region to the other.

There are pictures, but you'll have to find me in world to see them. I didn't take them and I haven't sorted out how to save them to my computer yet.

Sorry if you missed it, I'll do it again next year :)

Second Faith: Latter Day Saints

When you scour through the events list, it's easy to become overwhelmed by all the "Best in Leather" and "FREE SEX" listings and forget that there are other things available to us inworld. I found it surprising that there are so many parcels of land devoted to faith and religion.

With the popularity in the U.S. of HBO's "Big Love" and the media storm surrounding the Warren Jeffs trial, the Mormon church has become the latest unwilling star of faith based media. I was surprised to find that the LDS church has a presence right here in Second Life. Care should be taken to not confuse the LDS church (Latter Day Saints) with FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints) which still embraces the polygamist lifestyle.

I paid a visit to an estate owned by Adam ondi Ahman, the home to a LDS Chapel in Second Life. The area is beautifully crafted, with great attention paid to detail. I was only able to find one other resident, seen here and "away." Do you suppose they employ campers in chapels?

I wandered around and found loads of literature for anyone who wanted information about LDS or Mormon faith. I felt a little uncomfortable, there was a sign asking visitors to respect the intention of the area, yet I was wondering around in a leopard print halter top and some crack revealing low-rider slacks.

Beside the chapel there was a larger building filled with pews, television cameras and a giant t.v. screen. I had a seat and attempted to view the presentation, but I couldn't get anything to play. Maybe they air first life broadcasts on a regularly scheduled basis. I have no idea.

Just outside of the buildings was a hedge maze leading you through signs and literature explaining the church with pictures and links to online information. I'm sort of surprised that the Mormon church would even condone a presence in something like Second Life.

There were also links to genealogy information, available online. Ancestry is important to the LDS church, if I'm not mistaken (feel free to comment and correct me if I'm wrong) all of your ancestors must be baptised in the LDS church before you can be accepted in to heaven. I think they will even baptise those that passed on years before, to ensure a place in the next life.

The links to those resources are shown here, with benches that wouldn't allow me to sit. Do you suppose they knew I was dressed like a sleaze and didn't want to encourage me to hang around?

Regardless of your beliefs or how you feel about a religious presence inworld, you can't help but appreciate the care and attention that went into creating such a peaceful place.

Visiting here was a nice break from the leather, whips and chains.

If ya'll know of a parcel inworld that you'd like to see featured on Second Slice, leave me a comment!

I'll see ya'll inworld :)

The Art of Conversation

Ya'll know the scenario, the avatar with the pretty skin and fantabulous hair is standing alone just outside one of the gazillion shops. She's spotted by the lonely newbie, he approaches her nervously and utters the words every girl is just dying to hear: "asl"

It makes me wanna palm the little fella right between the eyes. I mean seriously.. would you walk up to someone in public and do that in your first life? If you answered "yes" to that question, then you stand a good chance of being just as unpopular and socially stunted in SL as you are in RL.

Since I'm on the subject, if we've just met, there's no need for you to get all up in my personal business. If you ask where I'm from and I answer "the U.S.", don't demand more specific information. You're not coming over for coffee anytime soon. I don't want to be rude and after I've gotten to know you a bit I'll be more than happy to share more information.

I love meeting people and enjoy helping the new residents out whenever I can... honest. The next time you think about approaching someone, stop and consider if you'd ask the same questions while meeting someone face to face for the first time.

See ya'll inworld!