Take a Walk on the Wild Side

After spending most of the past year in Second Life either partnered or walking around with my nose up the pixelated butt of a significant other, I've realised that there is a wide array of sub cultures and groups here that I have yet to experience. I want to stroke the seedy underbelly of the wild side, exploring darkened alleys and streets lined with titty bars.

I wanna straddle a stripper pole and shake my groove thang for a few $Ls.

How hard could it be? I mean, it's not like you need any actual talent, the animations are built in to the pole... right?

I scoured the classifieds for openings and started filling out applications. I soon realized that there was a little more to this than I had first thought. Some of the clubs required that your account be at least two weeks old, others as much as three months. This created a slight problem, since I'd created a new sexilicioius me to pursue my new career choice. All of the applications required your "real" age, I assume to cover their asses if little Johnny gets caught dancing naked for dollars with his Sally Mae av by his mom and dad.

I may or may not have told the truth on that one.

There were personality questions, photos to submit, interviews, demonstrations of my ability to "emote" sexily while dancing. I really thought I was going to stroll in to a club, offer to adorn their pole and maybe chat up a few guys, be given a tag and that be it. I was mistaken.

After a series of interviews and being shot down more times than I care to divulge, I finally landed a spot at a large club with an established clientele. I worked my first shift over the weekend and I had a blast. I'll let ya'll know how it goes.

I'll see ya'll in world. I may or may not be topless at the time.

Can Second Life Stop the War?

"Help end the war, lies & propoganda" was the title of the event listing which attracted me to this quaint little seaside gathering at Liberty Beach.

Before I go on, I should mention that when it comes to politics, I'm intentionally clueless. I'm that person that activists despise, the one who chooses to turn a blind eye, to remain quiet, to do nothing. I wasn't always this way. I used to feel free to voice my opinion on those issues which stirred my patriotic spirit, which now lays buried under layers of denial. When I take hold of a cause, I don't let go and because of that, I found it too draining, too emotional for me to allow myself to care too much.

And yet, when I saw this event listed, I couldn't let it pass without at least stopping by.

When I arrived, I was welcomed by a gathering of only three people. I was a little surprised, I guess I was hoping for a massive uprising.

The group was eventually joined by two more and the conversation flowed from opinions on the war (no one was for it) to the economy, 9/11 conspiracy theories and the government's knowledge of Tesla technologies. Although everyone wasn't always in agreement on every topic, I didn't witness tempers flaring or arguments. Everyone was very polite and respectful of everyone else.

I'm not sure what I expected initially, but this quiet, friendly group was a pleasant surprise.

Can Second Life stop the war? Probably not, but consider the fact that we all exist in this virtual world, from many nations, speaking many languages in the absence of a formal government and we all seem to get along much better than we do in the first world.

Maybe there's a lesson in that.

The State of Mahala

I have really struggled with my life on the grid this past week. So much so that I've contemplated selling my land, deleting my blog and downgrading to a free account. Doing these things would make it easier for me to walk away.

I'm sure you're thinking my decision has something to do with lag, Linden Labs or the state of Second Life in general, but it doesn't. My dismay with the state of things is based on a very human condition, the existence of hatred.

I've found myself retreating more and more into myself in world, something I do in my first life all too often. I try to distance myself from conflict, from pain, from hatred. It isn't always the best option for dealing with these things, it's just how I chose to, due to my atomic temper and huge mouth.

Things have been said regarding my unwillingness to be friendly towards some individuals and it's been suggested that my reasoning was incorrect and I'd like to address that here. I don't care if someone has an alt, I don't care if they have 15. It doesn't matter what face you wear or the name above your head, when I witness someone showing no respect for the choices of others, speaking with hateful words, calling others "idiots", displaying bloodied heads on sticks etc., I choose to separate myself from them.

I harbor no ill will.

I am not angry.

I just would rather not spend the limited time that I spend online in the company of individuals who gain pleasure from the pain and hurt feelings of others. There's enough hate and frankly, bullshit, in the real world.

Some of you will say it's just a game and that these displays are all in fun, but hatred and intolerance are dangerous things, in any form. If you freely sprew ignorance in Second Life, then I'm sure you do the same in your first. Your avatar, regardless of how hard you try to hide it, is an extension of who you are inside.

All the expensive skins, hoochie mama clothes and flexi hair on the grid won't mask your charade forever.

"Curl Up and Dye Salon"

Sometimes I get in a mood and go on a rampant shopping spree, looking for hair. I buy lots of hair, which I wear for about a day, then I decide it doesn't look right and go back to the first hair that the tall, pale, Gothic stranger bought me when I was a newbie.

I like to refer to him as my Hairy Godfather.

It was during one of these sudden, obsessive needs for new hair that I stumbled upon the gem pictured here. At the "Curl Up and Dye Salon" they specialize in fantasy hair, like Godiva, Gothic and Victorian doos but they also have a line of "Angry Housewife" styles. It's not just the hair either, they have entire avatars with fuzzy slippers and bathrobes. I didn't buy the style you see here, just the demo, but I may go back and get it. It would be perfect for those early weekend mornings at the hub, sipping coffee and chatting with friends.

Celebrities in Second Life

Do you ever watch that newbie strutting his stuff, wearing his shiny new freenis smack dab in the center of his forehead and wonder... could he be a celebrity?

I've thought about this more than once. When you read the tabloids (not that I would, I'm just sayin..) or watch "entertainment journalism" on television and you see the paparazzi shoving cameras in the faces of the wealthy elite, you have to wonder how they ever have any time to just kick back and be goofy.

I bet some of them are doing just that on Second Life.

I don't assume that just any A-lister is hanging out on the grid. I mean, I doubt Angelina Jolie is working a stripper pole on Orgy Island, but can't you just see someone like director Kevin Smith or maybe Roseanne Barr hanging out at the hub, picking on newbies?

Just think, that furry that you keep running off your land might be Jessica Alba.

Hey, it could happen.

Personally, I'm waiting for a buff, male avatar with broad shoulders and long, flowing hair to confide in me that he's really late night talk show host Craig Ferguson.

A girl can dream...

Shoes Don't Go There

Last night was fun in SL wasn't it? Multiple crashes, walking around with one earring and strange mystery messages from the Lindens when I tried to fly to my favorite infohub.

It did make for some funny moments though. As I stood in my corner, observing the mayhem, I noticed one resident showing off her new hair to one of her friends.

"Look how it moves from the back when I walk!" she said as she strutted sexily.

I didn't have the heart to tell her (and she probably wouldn't have believed me anyway) that in my view, her fabulous new hair was stuck to her crotch and it looked as if her naughty bits were under a tribble attack.

It was a normal "update" evening with stilettos stuck to our ass cheeks and lag so bad that you could die waiting for chat text to show up.

Those of us who've been around for a while, know to just take it in stride. It's all for the greater good. Today will be better and each day after.. until the next update.

See ya'll in world!

Never Turn Your Back on a Bunny....

.... because they'll be checking out your ass.

Flashed

Last night, a small gathering of folks were assembled on the wall at Bear Infohub. The topics of discussion varied, ranging from chat about an earlier party at the Co-op to how it's much more upsetting to rez without your hair than your clothing. Eventually, the males in the group began discussing all things technical. Motherboards, ram, processors... thingamabobs.. who knows. They were really into their voice conversation, so much so that the rest of us wagered that if we were to go topless, the menfolk in attendance wouldn't even notice. We didn't have this discussion in private, it was typed.. right there on the screen for anyone to see.

They never noticed.

So I sat there on the wall, in the middle of the flow of newbie traffic through the hub, topless. Now, I know they're not real boobs.. but dang.. someone paid good money to make sure I had decent hooters. It's not like they're nippless newbie tattas.

The technical conversation raged on. They never noticed. Even while the other ladies in attendance laughed hysterically that the guys were so wrapped up in giga-mega-uber-techno-stuff that they never noticed I had no top on.

There are some things men pay attention to more than breasts.. apparently.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I finally did it. I caved to peer pressure and got a headset and mic so that I could be like the cool kids and walk around Second Life like I'm in a cellphone commercial yelling "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???"

Before I go on, I should tell you I'm horribly shy, especially when it comes to speaking around people. This is part of my attraction to SL, being able to hide behind my computer. Because of this, after setting up my new headset I logged on and sought out my one good friend, the one person I trust enough to even attempt to speak with. It must have been like pulling teeth, he has to be the most patient person I've ever met. After about five minutes, I'd had all I could take and nervously went back to typing.

I made an attempt to join in with the cool kids over at the co-op, but my mic stopped working, which became evident after I sat there arguing with the vertically challenged, bucket headed dog for ten minutes before realizing that I was talking to myself. I logged off, re-booted my computer and started on my land, where it worked fine. Then I went back to the infohub, walking around saying "lalalala talking to myself" for ten minutes, little green lines over my head, but no one hearing me. Little bucket head showed up and yelled at me some more while I frantically tried everything I knew to do.

I think I've just bought a very nice digital, USB paperweight.

Ghoulish Thrills on the Grid

I had a blast Halloween night, checking out all the cool costumes and avatars. There were wolves, pumpkin heads and a wide assortment of demonic costumes. I went for the "Cupid's Skanky Ho" look:

While SL loan shark and telephone solicitor Aimz Demina chose a sexy demon ensemble, turning heads all over the infohub.

After a bit of shmoozing at the Co-op and later at Bear, a friend and I hit our favorite dance spot which had been transformed into a spooky graveyard, complete with Halloween themed music and a bit of holiday inspired trivia.

When I logged on this morning, I removed the monsters and the ghosts from around the office, picked up the jack o' lanterns and changed back into my "normal" hair and clothes. I kept the sunglasses though... I kinda liked the attitude.

I'll see ya'll soon!